8 years!

This past Tuesday, June 24, Luke and I celebrated our 8th anniversary! We are so thankful that God has brought us to this point. There have been times in the last 8 years where things have been very, very difficult. Not because we've had fighting, but because sometimes life has been just tough! We watched our wedding video tonight with the kids, and I was struck by how when you're getting married, you really don't fully understand what you're committing yourself to....

....for richer or poorer. We have nailed the "poorer" part down! God has always provided, but things have never been easy for us in this area. Part of it is getting married really young (19 and 20), and part of it is the conscious decision we made for me to not work when the girls were babies. Sure, I could've worked and put us into a higher tax bracket with a better retirement portfolio, but being home to see their first smiles, first steps, and kiss their first boo-boo has been worth more than any paycheck could've brought me. Yes, I am in school now and am planning on working full-time, but I am thankful for the brief windown of opportunity I had to be a stay-at-home mom. (As an aside, I hate the phrase "full-time mom;" even moms who work outside the homes are "full-time moms!")

...in sickness or in health. For those who know our family, you KNOW that we nailed this part down! Since November of 2002, NOT counting Mandy's three surgeries, the delivery of the girls, or my heart surgery, we have had 19 admissions to the hospital (and none of them were for Luke). Two high-risk pregnancies with multiple admissions per pregnancy, Mandy's severe kidney issues as a baby, my heart surgery when Kayla was 3 weeks old, and then Kayla's two admissions as a newborn...yup, we covered that part of the vow! The thought that we would have complicated (even dangerous) pregnancies never crossed my mind when we said our vows, and we certainly never pictured having an incredibly sick baby. I vividly remember the call I got from the pediatrician when Mandy was less than three weeks old with a personal call from the pediatrician saying we needed to bring her in ASAP because he was concerned she could be in kidney failure. Thank the Lord she wasn't! We did, however, have multiple hospital admissions with her and at one point were even sent home from ths hospital with home health care and IV antibiotics. We are thankful that is all far behind us, and the only evidence of Mandy's ordeal is the scar on her side. My heart is fine (although, we aren't having any more children to test the theory), and Kayla's kidneys seem to be holding their own.

...in good times and in bad: Thankfully, except for the above mentioned, we have had very few bad times. We have clung to each other; more importantly, we have clung to the Lord. That doesn't mean it's always been easy (anybody who is married knows that!), but the "good" is so sweet and the "bad" is so rare that in the grand scheme of things, it's "all good!"

So, as we celebrated our 8th anniversary, we can look back at 8 crazy, but wonderful, years. And Luke...I love ya!

No greater joy....

...there really IS no greater joy than when a child chooses to follow Christ. Mandy, age 5, has really been talking a lot about the Lord lately. We have talked about sin (it's the "bad stuff I do mommy--like hit Kayla and not obey mommy and daddy"), Jesus' death and resurrection, and about how she needs Jesus in her heart. She has been able to give the message of salvation for awhile, but it had not yet clicked in her mind yet that she needed to ask Christ for forgiveness. Well, Thursday night she told me she wanted to ask Jesus in her heart "tomorrow," so I didn't push her--I know that the Holy Spirit was working in her heart and would keep teaching her and encouraging her. On Friday she came up to me at bedtime and said, "I asked Jesus in my heart when I was in the bathroom!" Of course, being the parent I am, I ever so encouragingly said, "Do you want to ask Jesus in your heart again so I can hear you?" (Nothing like giving your child a complex about eternal security, huh!) So, she did--and she truly and passionately confessed her sins and told Jesus that she wanted Him in her heart. It was honestly the best moment in my life (Luke agreed). I told Mandy she was now a Christian, and she just BEAMED! I had her call my parents, grandparents, and Luke's parents. After all, news like this should be shouted from the mountaintops! Mandy was most excited to hear (from my Grandpa) that the angels were now celebrating for her. Please pray that Mandy will now really grow in her faith and that her passion for the Lord would continue to grow and strengthen. Pray, also, that Kayla would continue her interest in the work of the Lord. And finally, please pray that Luke and I have wisdom to know how to raise these two daughters to love and seek after the Lord; it's a huge, awesome, amazing responsibility!

Some thoughts

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am currently doing my psych rotation for nursing school (as an aside, I will mention that we got out early yesterday and I am under the distinct impression that getting out early is something that occurs on a regular basis!). I was doing a lot of reading about therapeutic communication last night, and then I read my Bible for a few minutes before bed. I tend to not just open it and read; I'm usually studying a book of the Bible, a theme, or reviewing a favorite Bible story to tell my kids (some of the Old Testament ones are obscure and I'm a bit fuzzy on the details!) Anyway, last night I just let my Bible fall open, and it fell open to the book of Job. For those of you who don't know, Job was a man who loved the Lord dearly and followed Him closely. Satan told God that Job was only obedient because his life was good, and God told Satan he could do anything he wanted to Job (but he couldn't touch Job). Job lost his children, his livestock, his very livelihood, yet he never cursed the Lord. Job didn't know about the "conversation" between the Lord and Satan, nor did his friends. His friends all assumed he had done something really, terribly wrong. They sat by him for awhile as Job grieved, and then they started offering "advice." As I was reading some of this discourse, I realized that what Job needed was someone to just be near him, offer support and encouragement, but to be silent.

And that got me to thinking about this psych rotation. I need to really use silence when I listen to other people talk about their struggles. Sometimes the best "advice" is no advice.

What many of these people also need is the hope of Christ. No matter how much medication you are on, no matter how much therapy you get....if you don't have Christ in your life, you will feel emptiness inside of you (and no, I don't subscribe to the theory that Christian's don't get depressed--I very firmly believe that there are neurotransmitters in the brain that have a real affect on our mood. I AM, however, saying that regardless of how perfect your brain chemistry might be, without Christ, you will never find completion) I don't know how to incorporate that into any conversation that I have--there are a lot of rules as a student, especially in a psychiatric hospital--but I do know that I will pray for the patients with whom I encounter, and I will do my best to be a living testament to them about Christ in my life.

That being said, remember to just be quiet and listen today. What is the Lord trying to tell you? What is your spouse trying to tell you? When talking with someone who is hurting, don't be like Job's friends and try to figure it out, offering unsolicited (and even wrong) advice. Instead, sit next to that person, listen to that person, and most importantly, pray for that person.

Sooo....

I'm done with labs for this semester of nursing school. That is six hours less of class per week, less homework, less quizzes, and less money paid to a babysitter. I'm also officially halfway through nursing school (2.5 semesters to go!) It has gone fast, that's for sure.

My next clinical rotation is psychiatric nursing. Maybe I'm over-confident, but I'm guessing this rotation will be a breeze. That psychology degree and half my MSW BETTER come in handy for something! The best part of this rotation (okay, there are two of them): No 7 AM start times and no awful nursing school uniforms (business casual!) Did I mention there are no 7 AM start times? The thing I'll hate about this rotation is getting out at 6:30 PM (thus the only perk to a 7 AM wake up time). Oh yeah....I have been assured that there is nothing contagious in this rotation. After last rotation and ALL THE ISOLATION PATIENTS I HAD (!), this will be a refreshing change.

We watched the movie "Amazing Grace" with our Bible study last night. I have seen this movie before, but it remains powerful everytime I see it. http://www.amazinggracemovie.com/ My favorite line from the movie is "I am a great sinner, but my God is a great Saviour." If you have not seen it, I strongly urge you to rent it (or go ahead and buy it!)

So it's been awhile

My excuse is the same: I've been really busy!

Life has a way of doing that to you--that is what I've really noticed. In the craziness and busyness of life, it's easy to forget what is important and focus on the tasks. I'm very guilty of that, and it has recently affected every area of my being.

So, I've made some changes. Nothing profound or life-altering, but a perspective change. It won't influence necessarily what I do, but it will influce how I do it.

I guess the best practical example of this would be how I view patient care. I made the change to go into nursing based on a love I have for people. It is easy in the day-to-day craziness of nursing school, however, to forget about that. Somebody has a weird disease and you flock to the room to see the disease, forgetting about the person. I took care of a patient who was physically an adult, but mentally 4 years old. He had various physical and developmental challenges, and he was difficult to take care of. He had every kind of isolation restriction you could imagine (my friends who know that I do NOT want to take care of sick people are laughing by now!), and he had a trach, a PEJ tube (a tube that sits outside of the abdominal wall and puts everything directly into part of the small intestine), a foley cath, and was stooling himself. It was all my worse "fears" combined into one patient. At first, I dreaded doing care because it was a lot of work (and, to put it mildly, it was gross). As the day went on, however, I realized that he deserved and should receive dignified care. I wouldn't want someone taking care of me who was doing care based on a "have to, " without looking at the fact that I was a human being. I took care of a very elderly woman the next day, and as I was helping her bathe, I caught sight of her wedding ring. Her husband had long been deceased, and it hit me that someday, that could be me. This woman, at one time, was 28 years old, busy chasing after kids, preparing meals, and laughing (or crying!) just to make it through the day. In other words, she used to be where I'm at in my life right now. I would hope that, if I am in her position someday, that someone would take care of me with loving, dignified, quality care (even if the care isn't glamarous). There is nothing that is "beneath" me to do, and I am vowing now to not be one of those nurses who refuses to do things that "aren't nurses' jobs"

On another note, we are redoing the office. New paint, new carpet (coming soon!), and new-to-us furniture (my parents have GORGEOUS office furniture that they are getting rid of and letting us have!). Maybe I'll be more motivated to study in this new and improved office? Pics coming soon!