"Nope, not at all!"

Those were the words Mandy spoke to me this morning when I asked her if she would miss me when she was at school (kindergarten). Her confidence and excitement for school thrilled me; her lack of caring that I wouldn't be there made me sad. Does she not remember when I couldn't walk away from her without her crying for me? When the only place she wanted to sleep was in my bed (well, okay--that was last night; in case you're interested, she slept in HER bed!) I remember the first time I left her in nursery and didn't get a page to come get her; now she's in kindergarten--mandatory school, 5 mornings a week!

Her lack of missing me made me think about my relationship with the Lord. While we celebrate and are thrilled that Mandy can separate from us and gain independence, do I (wrongly) do that with the Lord? Am I so confident of my abilities and my skills that I don't call upon the Lord for help? Do I feel that I'm mature in my faith that I need Him less?

Sadly, the answer to many of those questions is "yes." My reliance on the Lord needs to be the same reliance that Mandy once had upon me: Dependent on Him for every need, want, and desire. Just as Mandy used to cry for me if I left the room, so I should cry out for the Lord during the times I can't see Him clearly.

When Mandy made it ever so clear that she would not miss me, I hurt a little bit. When I picked her up from school and she didn't want to share everything about her morning with me, I hurt a little more. I bet the Lord wants me to tell Him that I need Him; I know that He wants to hear about my day. Just as Mandy had no interest in what I did with my day, I often have that attitude of not wanting to know (or rather, not taking the *time* to know) the goodness of the Lord.

I must say, though, that I am extremely thankful that Mandy has learned to separate from me and Luke in a safe, comfortable, age-appropriate level. All part of helping to ensure that she doesn't live at home when she's 30! (Kayla, on the other hand, told me the other day that she did not want me to walk her to school; isn't 3 a little young to be embarrassed of your mom? Especially when you have a COOL MOM LIKE ME!)

Separation is a little painful (at least for this mom!), but in a parent-child relationship, it's healthy and part of the maturation process. When it comes to our relationship with the Lord, however, we need to have complete and utter dependence on Him. Only He can satisfy us and complete us!