Marriage
I've been thinking a lot about marriage and its importance recently. I have several peers who have been through a divorce (4 sets of friends). I would say that 3 had Biblical reasons--adultery/non-believing spouse leaving the marriage/etc. Another couple is getting divorced because they see their paths going in different directions. What I want to know is, for a couple that calls themselves Christians and is active in the church, why haven't you prayed for God to lead you in the direction HE wants you to. I don't believe that God would unite you in marriage to lead you in different ways.
In the Christian community, I feel that we have somehow gotten into this doctrine that "God wants me happy." Sorry, buddy--find THAT in Scripture for me. God wants us to be holy, set apart for Him. He wants us to be seeking after where He wants us to go in our lives. So, when we Christians aren't happy, we assume that we need to make drastic changes to get happy; what I would argue is that if we aren't happy, we aren't finding our identity in Christ. He wants us to rejoice in all circumstances--even the tough ones.
Luke and I joked last night that if we believed in the doctrine of happiness, we may have thrown in the towel some time ago (Luke joked we wouldn't have gotten married in the first place). What JOYS we would've missed, though! There have been some really difficult times in our marriage. What has kept us together is the commitment we made to the Lord both as individuals and as a couple. We publicly vowed we'd stay in this marriage until we were parted by death. There are times when people get divorced and I'm "okay" with it--abuse, adultery, a non-believing spouse leaving a marriage. But when people leave because they feel themselves growing apart, being led in two different directions, or because they just aren't in love anymore, you are going to find me challenging that person and reminding them of their commitment. What drew you to your spouse in the first time? Did you let go your your selfishness and try to please the other person, or were you so focused on yourself that you ignored the thoughts and feelings of the other?
For those who are Christians, remember that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. If you find that the two of you are being broken, seek after the third Strand.
Any thoughts??
Labels: commitment, marriage
posted by Desire to show gratitude @ 6:50 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
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What a great post! Hubs and I are only in our first year, and while the joys definitely outweigh the sorrows, there are tough times when you feel ready to throw in the towel. However, when you reflect on the situation, you do realize it's just one or both parties being selfish and not loving the other more than themselves.
I agree with you that God wouldn't call two people into a marriage only to direct them down separate paths later on. As far as I recall, the Bible only permits divorce in cases of infidelity. I know it says if a non-believing spouse choose to leave, let them go, but I don't recall if divorce is "permitted" in these circumstances. However, getting divorced because of unhappiness is definitely NOT a permitted reason.
Unfortunately, I think too often in our society today we're pursuing what makes us happy instead of where God is leading us. And, it seems the more we chase happiness, the further out of our reach it becomes. However, when we chase God, happiness and joy follow in more abundance than we can imagine.
Thanks for the thoughts and for the wonderful example you and Luke set of a godly marriage. Your girls and those arond you are blessed to watch your witness.
AMEN... I wish I could be in your study group! When you say things, it makes sense to me. My "home" church was so difficult for me to follow. When you right it all out, I understand the meaning.
There are so many difficult times in marriage... having lived through MANY of them myself... but somehow... you have to remember that day you stood before the Lord and promised to be there through thick and thin... dont GIVE up... and now, having children there are so many other connections and purpose for the two of us as a couple.
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